Misandry Isn't Real

Unlike your hatred towards women

Misandry is a buzzword thrown around the internet like a frisbee. Men like to toss the word at women in defence of their own bad behaviour, until it’s hurled back at them by women who have a real understanding of the gender imbalance. ‘I hate men’ is a phrase I have heard by every single one of my girl friends. ‘I hate women’ on the other hand, is valid of a much stronger, visceral reaction, for a long list of reasons. For a man who is blissfully ignorant towards the casual misogyny that women face on a day to day basis, it must hurt to see the collective rage that we feel towards men, for the treatment that we receive from them. The growing number of women who are raising their standards, or choosing to remain single, is no cause for concern. The real issue lies within the men who believe that our ‘hatred’ stems from stubbornness. After all, isn’t that what men labelled us to be?

‘I hate men’ is typically said by young women, upset by the mistreatment faced by their male partners. TikTok’s are shared under the hashtag, promoting conversation surrounding the topic of cheating, emotional manipulation etc. So why is this an issue? If men are certain that they aren’t contributing to the problem, why are they the ones getting offended?

‘I hate men' is a valid statement. Every woman I know has been in a toxic relationship with a man, and has nothing but bad things to say about their previous partners. Sharing the disappointment and anger towards a romance which should have allowed validation to thrive, rather than hatred, is an understandable reaction to have. Social media is a place to build a sense of community, and in a world where nearly a third of women have experienced domestic abuse from men, shouldn’t we encourage them to speak out? Misogyny is rife, and unfortunately, it’s not going to disappear until men recognise the severity of the consequences to it. Recognising that they are part of the problem, rather than seeing it as a personal attack on their character, is the only way to combat the issue.

There is a particular breed of men who label themselves as feminists, self assured to the fact that they ‘aren’t like the other guys’. Yet they view our vow to steer clear from men as a rising epidemic, specifically, a ploy to emasculate them. When men no longer receive the attention from women they were taught was inevitable, we are the ones who get blamed - not the men who created the ‘epidemic’ in the first place. It’s said that ‘man hating’ isn’t the correct approach in promoting change, but what is it really trying to promote? There’s a lack of understanding surrounding the ‘I hate men’ movement (if you can even call it that), because they assume it to be a way of removing their sex appeal or charisma. When women share their hatred for men online, it’s to receive attention from other women. It builds unity and creates an opportunity to challenge the patriarchy. Recognising that not receiving flowers, or being gaslit, perpetuates an unhealthy romantic environment, gives women the courage to split up with their partners. It’s clear why men hate this content so much - it emasculates them.

I’ve met boys who claim that ‘man hating’ is a turn off, because women shouldn’t seek relationships if don’t have a tolerance for the gender they are attracted to. Whilst this sounds clever on the surface, it’s actually a very ignorant take. Women can hate men and still date them, because most boys, at first, seem perfect. You can be blinded by love and attraction, until you’re no longer susceptible to their manipulation. After having multiple bad experiences with men, it’s inevitable to lose faith in romance. Every time a man lets me down, I talk to my friends about how much I hate them. The patterns are repeated, and they all seem to follow the same tropes and behaviours. If the majority of women are vulnerable to internalised misogyny, it’s only becoming more common in the gender who maintain power.

The development of a patriarchal social system has led to men sustaining dominance over women. This is common knowledge, from as far as i’m aware. The manosphere of red pill ideologies has perpetuated the belief that women are becoming the beneficiaries of society, due to their growing comprehension of their own place in society. We are becoming more aware of the fact that male validation is no longer desirable, because there’s nothing glamorous in something so easy to receive. Men are easy, because they’re taught that women should look up to them. The rise in anti-feminism is due to the assumption that modern gender equality has sabotaged mens rights. Men have placed themselves at the backbone of society for so long, and seeing women rise above systemic bias has created a toxic outlet for men to secure their own reasoning to hate women. Hating men is only becoming more justifiable, when they continue to make everything about themselves. If you’re aware that you aren’t apart of the problem, then there’s no reason to feel insulted by it. Men love to claim that the patriarchy affects everyone, until they start defending it.

Misandry is not causing a surge in violence against men, or any real issue for that matter. The concept of misandry is only recognised when women share their experiences being catcalled, or cheated on. Men don’t seem to understand why we are placing our own value over the opportunity to date someone who has the intention of making your life miserable. The patriarchy has preserved the ideology that men are immune to criticism, and whilst you might label yourself as a feminist in an attempt to woo the girl you matched with on Hinge, there’s accountability which comes with that label.

We still need feminism. Whilst women become less naive to the high horse in which men subconsciously place themselves upon, it’s crucial to continue speaking out on the misogyny that we face on a regular basis. If that involves posting a TikTok under the hashtag ‘I hate men’, then we must continue to do so. We do everything in our power to challenge the beliefs of the patriarchy - it’s up to men to decide whether they want to take responsibility for their own neglect towards our feelings.